


stay ugly

by weedlizard



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-18 11:40:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21510448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weedlizard/pseuds/weedlizard
Summary: A day in the life of a depressed programmer from stardew valley. inspired by a cr1mes song.
Relationships: Sam/Sebastian (Stardew Valley)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	stay ugly

**Author's Note:**

> if u didn't read the tags, there is implied self harm, stay safe out there folks  
> (inspired by stay ugly by cr1mes)

Sebastian groaned as he shook from his slumber, rising up and leaning back with his hands above his head, cracking his back and bringing his cells back to life after a stagnant night. He reached a hand up, rubbing the sand out of his eyes as a yawn ripped through him. Delicate brown eyes glanced across the room towards his radio, a lovely old thing that was just barely displaying “10:02 AM” across it’s small screen. “Wow, five whole hours…” Sebastian mumbled sarcastically to himself, finally untangling himself from his black comforter. 

The short man stood up in only dark purple briefs, and staggered over to his wooden dressers to put an outfit together. He opened his top drawer, where an amalgam of underwear and socks mingled. A hand with chipped black nail polish fished through the drawer, before successfully pulling out an old, worn black half binder. Sebastian wrestled himself into it, minding the dull throb radiating from his left arm, before going back to his dressers and choosing his clothes for the day.

“Hmmm... I need something new, something  _ fresh and never before seen…” _ Sebastian stated sarcastically, before whipping out a dark purple hoodie and some dark grey ripped jeans. So  _ avant garde _ !  Now that his outfit was taken care of, Sebastian grabbed his radio and made his way to his family’s shared bathroom. Just as he reached for the door handle, Maru came splitting down the hallway at breakneck speeds.

“Oh hell no you don’t! I have to  _ pee _ !!” Maru exclaimed, more than accustomed to her stepbrother’s morning routine. She slammed the door behind her after giving Sebastian a look. All Sebastian could do was scoff.

“Well fuck…” Sebastian muttered quietly under his breath, looking down at his feet.

“Excuse you?” Demetrius said sternly from the hallway, striding over. “Do you think you’re an adult now Sebastian? Because if you want to use disrespectful language like that then you can leave this house.” Demetrius spat, grabbing Sebastian’s wrist before shooting him a look reminiscent of Maru’s, and backing off. The sound of a toilet flushing was heard, and out stepped Maru, taking in the scene.

“Is everything alright?” she said quietly, eyeing the men. Demetrius turned to Maru, his face softening into a small smile as he looked at his daughter.

“Yes Maru, everything’s fine! I’m going to get back to work now.” Demetrius spoke carefully, painfully aware of his daughter’s ability to read a room. He then turned away and shot a final glance at his step son before leaving the hallway. Everything seemed to remain frozen until the front door closed, snapping Sebastian out of his trance.  Maru placed a careful hand on his arm before pulling away and leaving to her own room. With the rest of his family occupied, the black haired man entered the bathroom, ready to start his routine. He examined himself in the mirror extensively, taking in the orange roots he needed to redye, the smattering of freckles across his face, and of course, a large break out on the right side of his face. 

“Well thank Yoba my acne is on the same side as my bangs, that can help hide it a bit better…” Sebastian sighed out to himself, reaching for his pale concealer. He gentle blended the makeup onto his face, patting carefully to avoid any obvious streaks. Once he was satisfied with his makeup, the man went on to straighten his hair into it’s signature style, giving it a slight tease for some volume to make up for his particularly thin hair. The raven haired man then went on to do the normal, tending to tasks such as brushing his teeth, cleaning all of his piercings, and going to the bathroom. By the time he was finished in the bathroom it was nearing 11:00 AM, and he walked back to his room, feeling a lot fresher than he did when he woke up.

With some of his brain fog gone, Sebastian thought it best to log into his computer and check his emails. Hitting “Log In,” he was immediately greeted with a new email from “stardewclinics-@-ymail-dot-com.” The message read:

“Dear Sebastian,

This is an email reminder that you have a prescription ready for you at the town clinic, please pick it up before 2:00 PM today.

Sincerely,

Dr.Harvey, PhD.”

“Jeez why is he always so formal with his emails. We all know you have a PhD Harvey, no need to brag.” Sebastian scoffed out, before deciding to text his boyfriend, Sam. He had a few hours to kill, and ever since the Jojamart closed Sam had a lot more free time. After a bright pinging noise from his phone as confirmation, Sebastian threw on some beaten up black skater shoes, and started his trek to Sam’s place.  The shorter man slipped some purple earbuds into his ears before opening up his music and turning it up as loud as he could. An electronic, witchhouse type song started playing, a mournful demeanor coming from the chords. Sebastian’s scuffed boots kicked up dirt around his ankles as the song blared through his headphones. 

“ _ Do you still have love for me...?” _

__

_ “Do you still have love for me...? _

The melancholy lyrics filled the black haired man’s head, pulling him into a type of trance as he walked through the bitey winter air. His emotions bounced on every note, every echoey synth hitting a different cord within him, like striking a drum. He didn’t really look up from his feet at all on his journey, his body carrying him on a familiar path without fail. As the song faded out, Sebastian looked up only to find himself at the iconic blue house. He grabbed his phone out of his pocket, shooting Sam a text to let him know of his presence, before the door opened and out leapt a sunny day of a man, all smiles and a warm embrace.

The two men walked to Sam’s room, throwing some of his pillows onto the taller man’s floor, as Sebastian brought out his laptop so they could play a new game together. It was a game called “Fantasy Father,” and it was a dad dating sim. Sebastian was excited to show Sam his favorite bachelor on the game, a goth dad named Dimitri Bleedparade. Sam and Sebastian laid like that for awhile, playing the game and doing funny voices before opting to just lay with each other for a bit. Sebastian laid his head on Sam’s chest, listening to his boyfriend’s heartbeat. The raven haired man nearly dozed off, before remembering his medication and jumping up, adrenaline pumping.

“Oh FUCK Sam I’m gonna be late I love you I gotta go!!!” Sebastian spit out, rapidfire as he packed up all his things at lightning speed before dashing out the door.

“Love you too Sebby!” Sam called after him, watching the purple and black flash sprint past his window.

\---

Sebastian slammed the door of the clinic open, breathless and panting, his binder straining his lungs. “Hey Doc, sorry I’m late!” he wheezed out, walking up to the counter. All Harvey did in response was turn around, throw some bottles into a paper bag, and staple the top, before turning back around to Sebastian and holding them over the counter. “Thanks so much Harvey-” Sebastian said, trying to grab the bag of medication before Harvey pulled the bag back, tugging Sebastian’s sleeve up at the same time. The doctor’s eyes coldly wracked over Sebastian’s arm, before staring straight through the younger man.

“Do you need me to up your dosage Sebastian?” Harvey said concisely. Sebastian could feel his pulse in his ears, his face burning red with embarrassment. He subconsciously flipped his bang so it covered more of his face, pulling his sleeve down as far as it could go.

“I- No I’m- I uh- I’m okay. T-thank you though.” Sebastian sputtered out, grabbing the paper bag and breaking away from Harvey’s grasp before turning on his heel and hightailing it out of the clinic. Harvey sat for a second, completely silent before Maru peeked around the corner, trying to read her superior.

“Is...Is Sebastian okay?” Maru asked quietly, rounding the corner to show her full form. Harvey looked up at his assistant, and nodded before getting up and retiring to his private office.

\---

Sebastian walked solemnly back to his house. His feet dragged the whole way there, and he couldn’t help but feel ashamed. A day that had started so well had ended so badly. He made it home finally, waving at his mother before walking to his room. After getting to his room he lifted up his pillow, grabbing the box of cigarettes underneath it and his purple lighter, and squirreling them away in his hoodie pocket before ascending the stairs and walking out towards the lake near his house. He came to a specific spot where he could watch all the tadpoles and microfish swim around, and lit his cigarette. Taking a long drag, he started to feel very entranced again, just watching the tiny little fish dance around the shallow area of the pond. He stayed like this for quite some time, just hitting his cigarette and watching the lake as fireflies fluttered just out of reach. 

He was only roused from his state when the farmer, some new guy in town, went running past, fishing pole in hand. The tadpoles and other microorganisms scattered, thoroughly waking Sebastian from whatever trance he was in. The man took a last puff from his cigarette, before dropping it to the ground and stomping it down. Thoroughly calmed, he walked back to his room, and settled in for the night. 

“Oh what a day in this tiny buttfuck town.” Sebastian thought to himself later that night, before drifting off into a restless sleep.


End file.
